Wooden Devil
Can you rate these 2 poems? (1-10)?
1) There's an empty hope that lingers with ever breath I take/
A quiet desperation that grows beneath a lake/
This fear is all around me holding e...
Wooden Devil

Can you rate these 2 poems? (1-10)?
1) There's an empty hope that lingers with ever breath I take/
A quiet desperation that grows beneath a lake/
This fear is all around me holding every limb down/
It's a subtle paranoia that feeds off every sound/
I am anchored to this ocean where I'll die in liquid tears/
If I don't come up for air in time I'll surely disappear
2) When water flows in an empty bay/
After the moon rises and the people lay/
The mist sprays gently onto the rocks/
While the devil sits on the old wooden dock/
Many people say that he is the one/
Who will over take the setting sun/
But I am inclined to disagree/
For that battle will be between the devil and me
1) 5 (the sentences are too long, it should have 12 small sentences)
2) 8 (very good, u can almost listen to the music of the words)
|
|
|
|
|
Tags: devil
Posted in Asia Masks | No Comments »